Speak

            When people ask me what I think the most important aspect of any relationship is, I quickly and assuredly say “communication.” No “kindness” or “trust” or “humor”, but the act of talking and expressing and letting the other person into your head. Communication is not small talk. It’s not a location device with a “I’m at the grocery store” or “Driving ttyl” text coming in every half hour. It’s not sugary paraphrases or false compliments or manipulative wording to get emotional reassurance or security or sex. Communication as I see it is synonymous with honesty with the additional pressure of vulnerability in thoughts and feelings and real shit. You have to express what’s going on in your head, and then let the other person or people in on it.

            You and I and everyone around us will only ever know what it’s like to be the person we are. I only know myself, and that’s on the good days. I have no idea what’s it’s like to be my mom or the old man at the grocery store or the person I’m with. If we’re products of our own experiences, which I wholly believe we are, then the delicate summation of our selves cannot be totally understood by anyone, ever. Relationships are about trying though. They’re about admitting to and confronting all of your feelings and mistakes and resentments and allowing the other person to react and have a say in where it all goes from there. Without communication, by focusing on humor or kindness or other bullshit, any and all chances of getting to a place of real intimacy are lost. That, I think, is the most heartbreaking thing.

At the end of the day the goals are simple: safety and security.

"Above all, the safety and security of our customers is the most important thing for us." How many times have you heard any airline say this? Or perhaps any police force bravely claim that they will take any means as long as people are "safe." The word safe extends to a different connotation when police officers take unfair measures in order to secure what they believe is safety. It is no surprise that the police officers have been severely criticized lately for the murder of innocent, unarmed civilians. Eric Garner, for example was choked to death by a police officer after he argued with them that he was not at fault for selling untaxed cigarettes. At that point, was Garner's presence a threat that putting him in a chokehold would ensure safety? Many officers claim that they value safety above all; but do they really? This world would be simple, not to mention very homogeneous, if we got rid of everyone and everything that these higher forces claim and interpret to threaten were gone and executed. Real safety or inauthentic safety?

"At the end of the day the goals are simple: safety and security"

Shazmeneh Durrani 

Professor Mitchel Jackson

Writing 101

11 Decemeber 2014

Prompt: “At the end of the day the goals are simple: safety and security.”

You want it, don’t you? The degree from Princeton, the lamborgini in your garage, the personal stylist whose pay is more than your juniors at work – you want it all. And you, in most cases, strive to achieve all these ambitions that you set your eyes on soon after you come in this world. Every examination you took in highschool, at least if you were one of these academically dedicated ones, had something to do with your dream school, or lets just say your dream. In reality though, that wasn’t your only aim. Each day you woke up with a new target to reach, a new aim to meet be it a purchase, a meeting, shedding a few pounds or completing pending work. Human life often takes the shape of this dismal, monotonous at times robotic routine and we, in all our superiority, succumb to this routine because that’s just how much we yearn for those goals. But these goals don’t end at their accomplishment and that’s what keeps man on this consistent, never-ending run. They are associated with something more than just their material attainment, in that they keep you happy and that is what keeps you safe because without happiness in your life, you become dangerous. You become bitter, envious and spiteful and in that process, you become the greatest threat there is to your existence. You become your biggest foe, biggest rival and so, ultimately to avoid being brought down by your own self, subconsciously or maybe consciously all you realy want is the security that you will be fine, you will be happy.

"Your heart is my piñata"

Hearts are hearts, associated with love and red and gushy stuff. It is a crucial, tender part of our human bodies. A piñata, on the other hand, is an object. It is something that is beaten and battered until it breaks, and then the person beating it rushes to rejoice in all the sweets that fall out before anyone else gets to them. It is a source of entertainment. If my heart is your piñata, please don’t break it. Please don’t beat, batter, and pound my fragile heart into shreds, as if it were a game to see just how quickly or how efficiently you could get the task done. My heart is not something to be abused. It loves you, just like the little colorful piñata that you’re swinging and hitting loves you. It wants to be friends with you, and as much as it wants to reward you with the sweets you're looking for, I hope you swing and miss.

Amy Shih

Success, after all, loves a witness but failure cant exist without one

Shazmeneh Durrani 

Professor Mitchells Jackson

Writing 066

December 02 2014

        Success and failure are both inevitable aspects of the human struggle to attain some form of fulfillment. It is only natural, human for us to yearn for success and avoid all failure and it is equally natural for us to display our extreme level of pride over our accomplishments. We give exams, we sit for interviews, we apply for jobs, we invest in relationships and some of us excel. We secure a numerically brilliant grade on our sheet, or make it to an exceptional position at a firm and try every possible, discreet way to show it all those who did not. Our success doesn’t feel as over-powering, as meaningful until we don’t hear some kind of applaud, or gain some form of joy by announcing it to the world and it is true that success gradually becomes something that we want to show to the world more than something we invest value in for our own good. But, more than success, interestingly it is failures inseperable relationship with having an audience. For me, personally, failure does not exist. Failure is just another one of the various man-made constructions that strengthen our self-demeaning stance; it is just a perception. 

       In instances where I don’t secure myself an extra-ordinary score, I will not have failed in my own eyes, I would have done a poor job or I would perhaps call it my negligence but it only becomes failure when I compare myself to others. As I stand admist people who chase success so blindly and impeteously, I find myself to be a true failure only because they are there to witness me, to make me feel incapable in their comparison, only because I do not worship success, I pursue excellence and if my excellence doesn’t match theirs doesn’t mean I failed.

Hypocrisy in Wedding Vows

Jenesis Veras

December 02, 2014

Professor Jackson

Writing 1

Writing Prompt: Success, after all, loves a witness, but failure exist without one.” –Junot Díaz, The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao.

           

Many preach that they are strong and stable enough to be part of the good times and the bad. For example, the traditional typical wedding vows, state, “I will love you in sickness and in health, and in the good and the bad.” There is a part in all of us in where we choose to believe that we are humble enough to broadcast both polar extremes in our lives, but in reality that is a lie to humanity and to oneself. We do not treat both positive and negative, good and bad, or success and failure as one.

One usually wants to broadcast all of his or her accomplishments and success to showcase how capable one is. Many are available to receive praise at a moment’s notice. However, that type of mentality does not apply to failure as well. Many do not want to facilitate or display their mistakes and successful adventures with others, as it is a display of weakness. One becomes more inclined to try to cover up those many failures with whatever amount of success that individual has encountered throughout their lifetime. 

In relation back to the idea of wedding vows, is a marriage more willing to showcase their success than their failures as partners, not treating both statements of their vows equally?