My name is Linna Li and I am an ABC. You may read this and wonder, 'What exactly is an ABC? I didn't know three letters of the alphabet actually meant something'. Well, an ABC is an American Born Chinese, and for the first seventeen years of my life, I neglected the C.
For as long as I can remember, I always fantasized being 'American'. I
felt a sense of belonging with the group of blonde-haired, blue-eyed people I called my classmates.
I ate spaghetti and meatballs for dinner while the rest of my family ate rice and stir-fry. I walked around
the house in my dirty shoes, ignoring the footprints staining the clean carpet.
I dyed my repeatedly until no black strands were found. I called my elders by
their first names instead of by their proper titles. The more I assimilated
into the American culture, the less I appreciated my own. Together with my Chinese
name, my Chinese culture became one big blur.
Yet, as I kept dying my hair, eating spaghetti and meatballs, and refusing to speak to my parents in Mandarin, I realized, what am I really accomplishing here? I tried so hard to forget about my culture, my background, my history, that I didn't realize how rude, how hurtful, and how disrespectful it was to ignore the hard work my parents devoted to get me where I am today.
Today, I realize that my two cultures are like yin and yang, contrasting, yet complimentary. I greet friends with a “Hey!” and wave my
hand, while I address Chinese adults with “Ai-yi” or “Shu-shu” shaking their
hands. Last summer, I started waitressing at my family’s
favorite Chinese restaurant. In November, my
family celebrates Thanksgiving with a dinner table piled with turkey, yams, dumplings,
and steamed buns. Of course, there is still a cultural barrier, but that cultural and communication barrier is what makes my family closer, as we must work harder to understand each other and ourselves.
I appreciate my parents.
I appreciate my culture.
I appreciate my background.
I am Linna Li and I am an ABC.
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