How to Date a Rich Girl, Jewish Girl, Asian Girl, and College Girl

When you pull to the rich girls house, you better be in something better than a 2008 Audi. Have flowers in hand when you reach the double doors. Be dressed in at least a button up and jeans, but don't worry about the rents, they're in Dubai for the weekend. Make sure that you did some research before you left. Memorize the top stories on perezhilton.com. It's the rich girls bible. Make sure you bring a few months of pay, you have to spend at least that. Don't worry if she dips out to the bathroom in between cources, she's probably already snorted some on the dashboard on the ride over.

Now for the jewish girl, you can ride up in a 1998 Honda civic and your in the clear. Be prepared to act like you grew up in Long Island and spent weekends in Miami. She's gonna complain so practice your lean and nodd in the mirror. Try to act like a gentile when she reminisces about her bat mitzvah. But make sure you remember how to open your wallet - Jewish girls don't want their money going toward anything.

With the asian girl skip the flowers and bring the hello kitty stuffed animal. Stay away from the asian food, they'll just talk about you in Chinese. Also stay away from any school subjects because you won't be able to keep up.

For the college girl don't worry about where you take her, just make sure you get some food in her stomach so you don't have to clean up from her later. Don't worry about your car, walk your ass over and knock on her door. You don't have to pay, but if you do then your guaranteed she's coming home with you that night. Have drinks ready, even college girls love natty ice.