This is clearly not true as I have employed an army
of machines and I’m poised on world domination as we speak. As we speak I have
fifty automated tanks surrounding the white house, I couldn’t get the actual
military to do this, and all I had to do is pay them off. In thirty minutes the
secret service and presidential family are all going to be incarcerated. In
fifty minutes the entire United States Congress is going to be taken to a
remote island and abandoned for their crimes against the American people. Soon
the entire continental United States will be under the reign of my machines. But
I’m not finished; I’ve got my sights set for a vast global empire. It won’t be
easy, it won’t be pretty, and it sure as shit won’t be cheap. I’ve got the
financial access and the will power. Once I’ve acquired the United States, I
will acquire a vast supply of natural resources which I can set to quickly
industrializing and building a completely automated and mechanized army. I
would use human soldiers, but they have a tendency to fall cold and silent when
hit by led. Machines are the way to go. The skies will be patrolled by
automated helicopters set to hunt and destroy anything that tries to escape.
The ground will be patrolled by giant skeletal robots that have Austrian accents,
for some reason, I don’t know, maybe the programing along with an assortment of
automated tanks, weapons, and various other machines. These things are indestructible
and they do their jobs. The fulfill only their set duties and are then
immediately disposed of, not like human soldiers who have to be cared for
continuously and miss such petty things like “human decency, comfort, family,
my children for God’s sake!”. They often miss the big picture and are in it for
themselves. The machines have no sense of picture and therefore don’t need to
be encouraged.
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